Why Your Child Acts That Way

Why Your Child Acts That Way

Just when you think your child is capable of acting almost "adult," or at least more mature than they used to be, they do something that makes you wonder what they're thinking.
They stretch the truth, pretend they don’t hear you, or explode into tears seemingly over nothing. They tease and babble like they were still babies. Why? There are usually simple explanations and ways to head off these habits.

Fibbing

The lies may be little ("Yes, I made my bed!") to bigger ("No, I didn't hit my sister.") but you know that what you're hearing is far from the truth.
Why they do it: Because they fear the punishment; or because they have gotten away with it before and hope they can again; or because they don't want to disappoint you, says Michele Borba, PhD, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

Teasing

This is good-natured ribbing of friends, siblings, and other family members -- not bullying.
Why they do it: Because it's fun and can make the teaser feel powerful, says Dawn Huebner, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Exeter, N.H., and the creator of the What-to-Do Guides for Kids series.
What to do about it: Help your child know when they're going too far and how to be sensitive to other people's feelings.
When your child teases someone who doesn't like it, take her aside and ask her how her comments are making the other person feel. "Boost their sensitivity skills by encouraging her to look at the other child's reactions and her facial expressions," Borba says.
Of course, if the teasing is clearly going too far, you should step in to make sure the kids are safe. Then take them aside to talk about what happened and how to prevent it from happening again.

Playing Pranks

Why they do it: For laughs, to feel powerful, and to get a reaction out of you, Huebner says.
What to do: Talk to children about when and how it's OK to play jokes and pranks, and how to tell if it goes too far.
Is the prank harmless or mean-spirited? Does it make someone laugh or distress them? Can your child tell the difference?
"Kids sometimes have a stronger sense of humor than they do a sense of consequences, so you might need to help them see how the other person may not be laughing," Borba says.

Pouring on the Drama

Why they do it: To get attention or because they're still learning how to handle their emotions. Some kids may be acting. Others "really feel things deeply, intensely. In the moment, they are devastated," Huebner says.
What to do: Don't reward it with your attention. Instead, talk about it and about other ways to handle emotions like anger, jealousy, or frustration. Be empathetic. "In the moment, telling her, ‘Hey, it's no big deal,' feels to her like you're minimizing the issue. Instead, say that you understand how hard the situation is, or that you see how frustrated she is."

Babyish Behavior

Why they do it: To get your attention, or to retreat from the expectations that come with their actual age. "If kids are feeling overwhelmed by a demand or a certain task, they might turn to baby talk or start saying ‘I can't,'" Huebner says. Some children also do this because of a major change or a trauma, Borba says.
What to do: Ask them to use their "regular" voice, Huebner says. It's usually a passing phase, so don't give it too much attention.

Ignoring You

Why they do it: They may be so involved in whatever they're doing that they honestly don't hear you, Huebner says. Or they may actively be tuning you out. That may not just be because they don't like what you're saying. It may be that they think you talk too much. "When we are making tons of commands, over and over, some kids can actually hear less," Borba says.
What to do: Get their attention before you speak. "Go near your child, touch their shoulder, so that you seize their attention," Huebner says. Then, once you're done talking, ask the child to repeat back what you said. Saying less, but more strategically, may help them heed you.

Interrupting

Why they do it: They may not yet know the proper cues for conversation and how to wait their turn to talk. Or they may have been getting away with it, Borba says.
What to do: Explain that when someone is talking, we wait for the other person to pause or finish before jumping in. "If children aren't sure if the other person is finished, it's OK to say, 'Excuse me,' and then wait to be recognized," Huebner says. Also, make sure you don't interrupt people, since you are your child's most powerful role model.

Saying "Nothing" Happened Today

Why they do it: Children may not know how to choose what might be of interest to talk about. Or the timing might be off. They may need time to unwind or re-energize before talking, Huebner says.
What to do: Ask engaging questions at the right time. Notice when your child is most talkative. Is it after school? Later on?Then ask specific questions like "What did you make in art?" or "Tell me something that made you feel proud today." Avoid questions that are too vague or those that will get a "yes" or "no" answer.

Procrastinating

Why they do it: They want to avoid a hard or unpleasant task. Or they may be more interested in something fun. Or they honestly don't realize how much time they need for a task.
What to do: Start routines that discourage procrastinating: Getting dressed comes before breakfast, homework gets done before playtime or electronics, toys get picked up before nighttime reading, etc.


Posted by:Georgie



Credit:webmd.com

Family Quality Time

How To Spend More Quality Time With Your Child

Although the days with little kids often seem long, the years fly by. Use this practical and purposeful blueprint to savor the moments you have together.

Practice Parenting Meditation
When you're overwhelmed with your responsibilities, it's easy to toggle into automatic pilot with your kids. But if your mind is elsewhere during the precious moments you've worked hard to preserve, you have lost your kids' childhood just as surely as if you hadn't spent the time with them at all. Instead, try to stay in the moment with a "parenting meditation," in which you focus on seeing your kids, hearing them, understanding them, and really being amazed by what you've created -- living, breathing miracles of nature who are learning like sponges and growing like weeds.

Take Pajama Walks
The hour before bedtime can be chaotic with young children. One of my favorite techniques to help them calm down -- weather permitting -- is an evening pajama walk. Not only will it give your kids gentle, mellow time to decompress, but it will also give you special moments with them that otherwise might have been lost to TV.
The key to pajama walks is the pajamas. Get the kids completely ready for bed -- teeth brushed, faces washed, pj's on. Then put them in their stroller, or on their tricycle, or in their sneakers, and meander slowly around the neighborhood. No snacks en route (their teeth are already brushed!); don't kick a soccer ball along the way; postpone animated conversations until tomorrow. It may take a couple laps, but by the time you arrive back home, your kids will be in a fresh-air trance and ready for bed.

Have Taco Night
Dinner at home with the whole family is special unto itself, but your kids will be even more eager to sit down together when your meal has a theme. You can have taco night, pizza night, Chinese night, egg night, or pancake night. Turn your kitchen into a sushi bar or an Italian bistro once a week. When kids are excited and having fun, they are energized in their conversation and about sharing their news at the table.
Special dinner nights are also a unique opportunity to increase your kids' involvement in cooking with you. When there are recurring themes for dinner, they can assume a bigger role in getting the food to the table because they'll remember the routine from the last time. While they're washing the vegetables, stacking the tortillas, mixing the salsa, grating the cheese, they may be gossiping about what's happening at school. When they leave the house in the morning, be sure to remind them, "Taco night tonight!" They'll look forward to it all day.

Fix It Together
Never repair a leaky faucet, change a tire, paint the fence, or replace the furnace filter without your kids. Home improvements are a great way to spend time with them while teaching them about tools and life at the same time. The attic, the basement, and the crawl space are all classrooms for learning how things work and how to safely fix things. Give them a flashlight, and talk them through the job you're doing. As they get older, hold the flashlight for them. Instead of dreading things that break, you'll see new tiles, built-in shelves, and paint jobs as bonus chances for time with your kids.

Don't Drive Everywhere
The minutes that we "save" by driving our children a short distance to the neighborhood park or a friend's house are actually priceless moments that we lose in the name of convenience. The next time you need to take your children somewhere nearby, try to get there on foot. Walking with your kids is a great way to slow down the pace of your lives and to have more unscripted moments with them. Talk about where you're going, what you're thinking, what they're thinking, what you see on the way, and who said what to whom in school today. Hold hands if your kids haven't gotten too cool for that yet. If you're dropping them off somewhere (a playdate, a piano lesson, karate class) and would normally drive away and return again later, take along a backpack with work or reading and find a quiet place to wait until they're finished. The hour or two that you have alone in a coffee shop or under a shade tree will help you slow down and stay sane. Then pick up your child and walk back home together.

 

Play Their Games
If you decide to bring video games into your home, do your best to screen them and even learn how to play them so you can experience this part of your kids' world. Why? First, your kids will "kick your butt," to use their phrasing; this is one activity where you'll never have to let them win, and it's a good thing for children to occasionally see their parents as human and vincible. Second, there will be guaranteed hilarity at your lack of dexterity. Finally, some games have somewhat redeeming virtual reality, because they mimic real-world activities such as table tennis, bowling, baseball, skiing, and dancing (which are certainly much better than games where you blow each other up). But set time limits, lest their virtual realities take over their reality.



Posted by:Georgie


Credit:parents.com

The Top 5 Mistakes Divorced Parents Make

The Top 5 Mistakes Divorced Parents Make

WebMD spoke with family and divorce expert M. Gary Neuman, who gives exes pointers on how to split up without emotionally destroying their kids

Breaking up is hard to do. Divorce and its complications are the themes of Julia Louis-Dreyfus's hit Emmy award-winning sitcom, The New Adventures of Old Christine, in which she plays a newly single mom facing the challenges of dating again, a host of custody and parenting issues, and an ex-husband who is still very much in her life.

Although her own marriage -- with two kids -- to writer-producer Brad Hall is still going strong at 21 years, the actress is mining emotions she is familiar with. Her parents divorced when she was a child, and she was shuffled back and forth between their homes in Washington, D.C., and New York City. While her parents kept it civil and Louis-Dreyfus remains close to her mother, father, and their respective "new" spouses, many kids of divorce have it much tougher. Some are asked to broker peace between warring exes, even as they are grieving the loss of a parent who has abruptly moved out. Others must deal with parents who suddenly can't cope with everyday tasks, like making dinner or helping with homework.

Many children take the battle scars of divorce well into adulthood -- wounds that never needed to be inflicted in the first place. But broken-up spouses can help stop the damage done by managing their own behavior before the ink dries on the divorce papers. WebMD spoke with family and divorce expert M. Gary Neuman, LMHC, who gives exes pointers on how to split up without emotionally destroying their kids long term.

1. Don't make your child the messenger ...

"Too many parents attempt to communicate through their children, which causes undue emotional stress on them and forces them to negotiate a situation their own parents could not handle," says Neuman. "Email is an excellent tool nowadays to communicate with your ex-spouse. It allows you to specifically discuss the practicalities of raising your child without detouring into negative areas and opening old wounds. It also provides a recorded message, admissible into court, so parents tend to be more careful when using it.
If you want or need to speak with your ex over the phone or in person, be focused and stay on task, and most important, don't swallow the bait if he or she descends into anger. Simply say, 'I appreciate your feelings, but I am here to discuss our child's school assignment.' Take the high road. Your child's emotional health depends on it."

2. ... or your therapist.

"Teenagers like to feel in control, and divorce turns their worlds upside down," Neuman says. "Don't fall into the trap of sharing divorce details or your angry feelings about your ex with your older kids. Their own anxiety and need for control causes them to be 'understanding' of what you're going through, but you need to be the parent. Get outside help for yourself, get therapy if necessary, and maintain those boundaries. Making your child your cohort is wrong and does them damage."

3. Try to "get" your kid.

"Kids need to feel as if they are understood," says Neuman, and after a divorce their feelings may in turmoil. "Listen to them. Don't tell them what to think. And it might be difficult, but never criticize your ex -- it's a criticism of your child, who of course is 50% of your ex-husband or wife. Respond specifically to what they are telling you. Say, 'It sounds like you are feeling sad/mad/upset about meeting your dad's new girlfriend, is that right?' As a parent, you don't have to have a solution, you just need to hear them.

And don't editorialize. You can suggest your child write down his feelings and share them with your ex, but only if the child wants to do so. Stay trained on your child's feelings, not yours. Healing comes through a loving connection, and from feeling understood."

4. Avoid the third degree.

"I tell parents to treat their child's weekend away with their ex-spouse as if the child has just visited an aunt or uncle," advises Neuman. "Saying nothing will leave your child stressed, as if he must compartmentalize both worlds and tiptoe around this other experience. On the other hand, grilling the child puts him squarely in the middle, which is an impossible position emotionally. So ask your kid fun and general questions, which diffuses tension. And then let it go."

5. Repair the damage you've already done.

Many divorced parents reading these tips may recognize mistakes they've unintentionally made with their own kids. Is it ever too late to undo emotional fall-out from a nasty split? "No, children are remarkably forgiving, says Neuman. "At least until they reach their later teen years, when anger may be more cemented. If you've made mistakes, it's important to do the following:

• Apologize for them. Saying you're sorry goes a long way with your kids.
• Explain in detail exactly what you've done wrong, and then commit to changing your behavior from that moment on.
• Give your child a safe and specific signal -- for example, tell your child to raise his or her hand when you begin criticizing your ex -- which serves as a time-out for you, telling you in no uncertain terms you're doing it again and need to stop immediately."

Posted by:Georgie


Credit:webmd.com

Bad Habits That Can Hurt Your Kids' Health

Bad Habits That Can Hurt Your Kids' Health

Parents as Role Models

Kids learn how to feel about their bodies, abilities, everything -- from what you say and do. They are likely to imitate your actions. The most powerful way to teach your kids healthy habits is not by rewarding or punishing them. Instead, act in a positive way and model healthy behaviors.
Setting a good example will help them be happy and maintain a healthy weight. Have changes to make yourself? That's OK. You can do it together.

Criticizing Yourself

Criticizing the way you look sends the message that self-esteem should be based on how your jeans fit or how much you weigh.
Kids -- especially girls -- can be influenced by what they hear their mothers say. It can make them not like what they see in the mirror -- leading to a lifetime of self-esteem issues and poor body image. Both can push her toward unhealthy habits like yo-yo dieting or increase her risk of dangerous eating disorders.

Emotional Eating

If you use food to feel better when you're sad or disappointed, you could be passing on unhealthy messages to your kids. You're showing them that food is the way to feel good about yourself.
Instead, work on other ways to get an emotional boost when you're low. Let them see you talking to friends or going for a walk to feel better. They'll pick up on healthy and unhealthy habits alike.

Too Much Texting, Emailing, Talking

It's not fair to tell the kids not to text at the dinner table if you're there on your phone. What you do sends a stronger message than what you say. Set family rules about electronics and everyone, including parents, needs to stick to them.
Kids who spend too much time in front of screens often have problems with sleepiness, school performance, and weight issues. But kids who eat dinner with the family have a lower risk of obesity.

Emphasizing the Superficial and Material

Most little girls play dress-up. But experts say be careful about making pedi parties more important than other quality time.
Use "girl time" to make healthy habits attractive -- go for walks, teach her a sport. She'll learn that she can be strong, powerful, and a girl. Plus, she'll see that being active is a great stress reliever. Also be sure to tell her she's smart or kind as often as you compliment her beauty.

Drinking to Perk Up or Feel Better

If you come home after a bad day at work and say, "I need a drink," you show your child that alcohol is a good way to relieve stress and feel better about yourself. The same goes for relying on tons of coffee for energy.
Instead, find healthier ways to get stress relief or get energized. Try exercise, meditation, or a relaxing hobby and get the whole family involved. Those are all are good ways to relax or recharge.

Making Everything a Competition

Pointing out to your child that other kids (neighbors, classmates, siblings) are more athletic is rarely a good motivator.
Instead, try positive reinforcement. Praise him for doing his best. Help him focus on the fun of being outside or competing against himself and seeing improvements. You can also offer to help find an activity he's passionate about and help him practice. Talk about how you need to move every day and how it makes you feel good.

Always Bickering, Arguing

If you and your spouse constantly snipe at each other, your kids are learning that it's OK to act that way. Stress is often a trigger for arguments.
Handling your stress well? If not, try researching some stress management techniques. Arguing may make you feel better at first but worse later. Plus, stress from arguments has a negative effect on kids. Negative stress has been shown to increase the risk of obesity.



Posted by:Georgie


Credit:WebMd.com

Atlantic Antic

Atlantic Antic 

Atlantic Avenue between Hicks Street and Fourth Avenues in Brooklyn Heights

Sunday, Sept 30th from noon to 6 pm

Celebrate the end of summer, Brooklyn style with great food and live entertainment.

For more info:atlanticave.org

Posted by: Georgie

The Great Subway Search

 

 

The Great Subway Search:

New York Transit Museum

Boerum Place and Schermerhorn Street

11am-2:30pm FREE with museum admission

Children enjoy a platform-level scavenger hunt

and then create their own version of a subway map.

Event takes places on the following dates:

Sept 26, Oct 3-5

For more info contact the museum;

718-694-1873

Family Fun Time

Glee Club

Make everyone smile with these goofy games and activities.

*winning grin
Start a silly streak with this game. Player one has to get player two to smile by using facial expressions-no talking, touching, or tickling allowed. When player two grins, they switch.

*laugh factory
Play "throw the smile" with friends. Everyone sits in a circle wearing a straight face. Then take turns "wiping" a smile off and throwing it to someone else. Crack up and you're out!

*joy journal
Keep a smile diary. Ask your child what makes her happy and jot it down with the date. Her comments might surprise you, and it will be a sweet read as her entries add up.

*mag mug
Make a smile collage: Put out a stack of magazines and ask kids to cut out only pictures of smiles and then glue them to paper. See who can find the most smiles.


Posted by:Georgie



Credit:Parents Magazine

Different Views in Parenting

My son’s mom and I have two very different belief sets. She’s a devout church-going Christian. I’m a spiritual agnostic. She finds peace in a pew. I find peace on a mountain top.
Up to this point, it hasn’t been too big a deal when it comes to co-parenting our son. I let her take him to church, and she lets me take him hiking. We have a mutual agreement that we will both always be passionate about our personal beliefs but never tell him what he must believe.  It will always be his choice, we’ve decided.

Boat House Downtown

New York City Downtown Boat House
         

Pier 40, at Houston St. and the Hudson River, 646-613-0375
Pier 96, at Clinton Cove at 56th St. and the Hudson River, 646-613-0375
Walkway at 72nd St. and Riverside Park, 646-613-0375
As long as you and your kid both know how to swim, sign up for a free 20-minute kayak rental at one of these locations and head out for some fun on the water. The walk-up program is available on weekends and holidays from mid May to mid October, and also on many weekday evenings. [2-4 years; 5-8 years; 9+years]


Posted by Mags

International Center of Photography

International Center of Photography
1133 Avenue of the Americas at 43rd Street (212-857-0000)
This world class photography museum is host to great exhibitions that will entertain any fan of the still image. Voluntary contribution every Friday, 5-8PM. Open Tuesday–Wednesday & Saturday–Sunday: 10:00 am–6:00 pm, Thursday–Friday: 10:00 am–8:00 pm; closed on Mondays


Posted by Mags

            Fun and Fit Family Guide

Slideshow: Swimming Pool and Beach Safety

Slather on SPF

When you're outdoors in the water, wear a broad-spectrum, water-resistant sunscreen. You should apply at least 1 ounce -- enough to fill a shot glass -- over your whole body, including your feet, nose, ears, and lips. Don't wait until you get to the beach or pool. Apply it 30 minutes before going outside. The higher the SPF on broad-spectrum sunscreens -- up to SPF 50 -- the better they protect against UVA and UVB rays. Reapply every two hours.

Cover Makes a Difference

Shade matters. It can help protect against sunburns and heat stroke. The sun's UV rays are strongest between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., even if it's hazy outside. Seek protection with beach umbrellas, wide-brimmed hats, sunglasses, and long-sleeved shirts and pants. In general, clothing made of dark, tightly woven fabric best protects the skin from the sun. If you can see through it, then UV radiation can penetrate it.

Drink Lots of Water

One stylish water bottle isn’t enough, unless you refill it over and over. According to the Institute of Medicine, most adults need an estimated 11 to 15 cups of water or other fluids a day to stay fully hydrated, more if you're physically active or exposed to hot conditions. That's almost a gallon per person. Sports drinks are great after a sweaty game of beach volleyball. Otherwise, water works.

Don't Drink Alcohol Around Water

Alcohol and swimming don’t mix. Drinking can impair your judgment and encourage dangerous behavior. Alcohol also speeds up the dehydration process. The sweating, vomiting, and diarrhea that can go hand-in-hand with too much drinking can result in even further dehydration.

Have a First Aid Kit

A small first aid kit can prevent minor mishaps from spoiling your day. Take aloe gel for sunburn relief, triple-antibiotic ointment, pain relievers, waterproof bandages plus alcohol pads for scrapes, hydrocortisone cream for insect bites, tweezers for boardwalk splinters, ear drops for swimmer’s ear, vinegar for jelly fish stings, motion sickness pills for boat rides, hand sanitizer, insect repellent, and a chemical cold pack for swelling.

Plan for Your Health Needs

People with health concerns should take special care when traveling, even on day trips. If you take medicines, bring enough to cover your stay. Some drugs can increase sensitivity to sunlight. Some may be affected by high temperatures. Consider obtaining a doctor's letter explaining your health needs. Check your health plan’s rules for refilling prescriptions and covering out-of-town care. Check for local health care access in case you need it.

Heat-Friendly Snacks

Pack an insulated cooler with a cold source such as ice or frozen water bottles. Take easy-to-carry foods like fresh fruit, celery sticks, trail mix, or pretzels. Chill any cooked foods before you pack them in the cooler. And take a separate cooler for drinks so you only open the food cooler when necessary. Avoid glass bottles since most places don't allow them. If the temperature is above 90 degrees, don't let food sit out more than an hour.

Posted by: Georgie

Credit:Web MD

Military Family

www.google.com

Women and men in the military are amazing—and so are their families. You may want to comment on or ask how a service member’s spouse juggles everyday chores with parenting solo, infrequent phone calls from her partner in a combat zone and regular moves to new states and countries. Sometimes, though, your well-meaning words may be upsetting. Here’s what never to say to a military family and what you can say instead—as well as when to say nothing.

My spouse is gone a lot for business, so I know how you feel being a single parent.
You may think you’re being empathetic, but it’s not a fair comparison. “These experiences aren’t similar,” says Barbara Van Dahlen, PhD, founder and president of Give an Hour, which helps meet the mental health needs of military and their families. “A military spouse is in significant danger, and they may not have access to a phone, email or video chatting for weeks on end.” Instead of drawing parallels between your circumstances and theirs, extend your support with a specific offer to help, such as picking up his or her child from school.

I could never do what you’re doing.
While this may seem like an innocent comment, it’s not the best way to show your respect. “Most military spouses don’t need a reminder that they’re doing something tough,” says Michelle L. Kelley, PhD, professor of psychology at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, VA. “Military families don’t want you to feel sorry for them, as this is a choice. Instead of saying ‘poor you,’ say something like, ‘I appreciate what you’re doing for those of us who aren’t in the military.’”

How can your spouse choose to miss out on the kids’ lives?
It’s not easy for any parent to be away from her children, as military families are painfully aware because they endure separation after separation. “I was told I was strong to be able to leave my kids behind,” says retired Army warrant officer Mo Ryan, whose husband is still on active duty at Fort Bliss, TX. “But you either feel like you’re cheating work because you have children or cheating your children because you work long hours or deploy.” Steer clear of comments like these because they’re not helpful in any way, says Van Dahlen. And don’t bother suggesting ways the deployed spouse can keep in touch with her kids—military families know all about Skype.

Your spouse will be home before you know it.
“I assure you that this is a false statement,” says Anni Grieve, a military spouse in Vilseck, Germany. Though you may be trying to encourage your friend, remember: “We feel every minute of our soldier’s absence, and our children feel it as well. In the nine years we’ve been married, he’s been deployed four times,” adds Grieve. A better approach: Ask how the family stays connected while apart or if they have any special plans, such as a vacation, once they’re reunited, says Kelley.

What will you do to keep busy while your husband’s gone?
This is actually one of the more offensive comments. “Even if the spouse has been on her own before, this comment assumes her life isn’t changing dramatically while her partner’s absent,” says Frederic Medway, PhD, a psychologist specializing in military families in Columbia, SC. “In fact, all the roles traditionally played by the spouse who’s gone must now be taken over by the remaining spouse.” Instead, say something like, “I know your responsibilities have increased tremendously. Can I bring the snack for the kids’ soccer team so you don’t have to do it? Or would you like me to babysit so you can run errands without the kids in tow?” Offering a specific form of help is a great way to show your support.

At least he’s not in Iraq or Afghanistan!
A deployment anywhere means a spouse isn’t home; it doesn’t matter where it is. And while the assignment may sound wonderful to you (say, Hawaii or Italy), it’s not as cushy as you may think. “There are dangerous and sensitive missions all over the world. Just because my husband’s not in the Middle East doesn’t mitigate the danger, worry or any other aspect of separation,” says military spouse Sunday Turner of Fort Bliss, TX. The experts’ consensus: There isn’t a good way to address the topic, so leave it alone.

When is he getting out?
This question presumes the service member wants to leave the military, and it makes it sound like you think service is some sort of sentence. “As an Army brat and a military spouse for nearly 20 years, this question is annoying,” says Lisa Mason of Fort Eustis, VA. “We’ve even heard my husband must not think he can make a living doing something else. My response is that serving in the military is an honorable calling.” If you’re truly interested in learning more about serving, let the spouse be the expert, advises Van Dahlen. Say something like, “I’m not sure how military careers work. Can you explain?”

Why are you moving? You just got here.
Many military families think frequent moves, especially to destinations overseas, are opportunities to see new places in a way tourists can’t. Plus, moving is simply part of being a military family. “People say they don’t know how I can move far away from my family, but I’m supporting my husband, who’s also my family,” says Megan Guinnup, a military spouse in Vilseck, Germany. “While I miss my relatives, our travels give them a chance to visit new places.” On the other hand, some military families would prefer to stay put, yet they don't have a choice about when or where they’ll move. “This is one of my least favorite questions,” says military spouse Karen Hartless of Vicenza, Italy. “It’s not as if I’ve enjoyed moving 12 times in 20 years.” Instead of asking why they’re relocating, ask about their most interesting duty stations.

Do you think he’ll be home for Christmas/your son’s graduation/the family reunion?
“It just doesn’t work like that,” says Kelley. “Even when service members are due to come home, it may not happen on schedule.” If you’re close to a military family, also avoid saying things such as “he’s missing the family reunion again?!" They’re all too aware of what their spouses are missing, and it’s not your place to make them feel worse about it. “We still get asked if he’ll be coming home for events, and he’s been active duty for 24 years,” says Vicki Inman, a military spouse in Vilseck, Germany. If you’re hosting a formal event, like a wedding, invite the whole military family and let them RSVP like all the other guests. If it’s an informal event, like a neighborhood block party, say something like, “If your husband can make it, we’d love to have him join us.” Then leave it alone, says Kelley.

Aren’t you afraid he’ll get hurt or develop post-traumatic stress syndrome?
It may be difficult to believe, but military family members say people often ask these types of questions. “Almost every military spouse has these thoughts from time to time, but you don’t need to point out the dangers our loved ones face on a daily basis,” says Inman. That’s why experts say this area is off-limits. “Follow this rule for any conversation with a military family: If the question or comment would serve as a reminder of the risk to the service member, stay away from it,” suggests Medway. If you truly want to help, learn about our military and ways to offer your support at OurMilitary.mil.


Posted by Smooches

Read more: How to Help Military Families - Military Family Support - Woman's Day

Governors Island Family Festival- Free Event

Governors Island Family Festival

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Saturday, May 26, 2012

12:00 p.m.–4:00 p.m.

Children and their families will gather in Nolan Park on Governors Island to enjoy music, theater, dance, arts & crafts, face painting, maritime education and more. Performances will run throughout the day with artists such as Astrograss, The Maybelles, and Arm of the Sea Theater.

Volunteer opportunities for the festival are also available and we encourage and welcome locals to participate!

This will be the 8th Opening Weekend Family Festival the Governors Island Alliance has hosted on the Island.

Governors Island, ManhattanFree 



Posted by: Georgie

The Power of Love

Much time, money and effort can be poured into the lives of family members and yet the gestures may be missing a critical ingredient... A deep, committed love that propels one to share that love in a truly genuine spirit. Obligation, guilt, and duty can be void of the loving heart. How could you begin to genuinely invest yourself in each of your family members in a way that makes a difference?




Posted by: Georgie


Credit: Daily Inspiration